Friday, June 23, 2006

New York, Here I come


so yeah, i'm super-duperly excited (and kinda nervous) to be traveling to new york.... alone, diving head first without a lifeguard on duty. this solo experience is very necessary for my own sanity and forces my to step outside of my comfort zone, discarding everything i've been taught about a woman traveling alone. i can't wait to be fully present, with my bells on, learning how to navigate the subway system and immersing myself in new york culture and subcultures (like black punk scene....mmmmhmmm)! good times are ahead. i will take plenty of photographs and write in my journal to document my experiences, emotions, hi-s, low-s, and everything in-between. despite living during a period where singlehood and being child-free at 30 continues to be frowned upon, going against the grain has its' perks--one is the freedom to just effortlessly travel at a moment's notice. give thanks for the opportunity to travel alone and to be single and childfree at 30....really, it's ok....


my experciences as a single African-am, African-centered, queer 30- year woman, or more simply, a ball of consciousness, traversing the state of New York will be well-documented using an inexpensive camcorder, nikon slr d70s digital cam, and through extensive journaling. I'll be staying at a hotel in Manhattan for 4 days then I'll be moving to an inexpensive eclectic artsy hostel for the remainder of my stay. honestly i don't plan on getting much sleep...:DDDlove.

being thankful and grateful for the op,

kili

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

ding ding: i learned something

Love is not an emotion, it is your existence" A person identifies himself with a particular race, religion, culture and nationality, and he/she will fight for that, die for that.. and others will die with him/her too. Instead, share a broader perspective - that first and foremost we part of the Divine. Our second identity is that we are Human Beings. Third, we are male or female Fourth, is our nationality, the country to which we belong. Fifth, is our religion. If the order of identification is understood, then human values are honored. But if we identify with a particular religion or nationality, forgetting that first we are part of the Divine, and human beings then we bring misery unto ourselves and others as well. We have to have proper priorities. Everything is changing around you - your body, mind, priorities, friends, foes.. Everything is constantly changing. For this change to be recognized a reference point is needed - and That is your BEING! Wake Up! and see that you have a bigger identity than your gender! You identify yourself with the spirit. You are not just a piece of flesh and bone! You are Spirit! You are Life! This is when you need to know the knowledge.. That you are spirit. You are the sparkling, scintillating consiousness! When you identify yourself with that, all complexes dissolve and fade away. The ancient rishis said put it into a sentence "Tutvamsi" - "THOU ARE THAT" Don't think you are just amino acids, carbohydrates and proteins moulded into either 2 different forms - male & female. There is something beyond that - the spirit, the conciousness, the Bliss that you are, the joy that you are... Look to the Love that you are! Love is God, God is Love - because both are the same ethereal phenomenon. "What do you think you are? Do you think you are a solid body? Do you think you are a set of concepts, ideas and emotions?" No, No, No, Don't Mistake it! This Love that you are feeling - that is what you are. THOU ART THAT! -SRI SRI RAVI SHANKAR-

Friday, June 16, 2006

Mornings

......"It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom." -Aristotle

daps to Aristotle*


.....I am a morning person, a rare breed
i rise at 5 am to go for a bike ride
....the air feels different, the sounds are foreign
....i am the only person on the road
-me

yes it' s true, mornings are my favorite time of the day. most times, no matter how late i get to bed, i wake up early and maybe take a nap later if time permits. and it's merely because i was nurtured in such a way. i remember mums would rise at 4 in morning, with coffee ready, breakfast made, clothes already washed, table set, and morning walk already done and justa shining like, what? i appreciate mornings for they allow me time to get many things accomplished. i love to juice, rigorously clean, take loooong baths, stretch, organize my stuff, read, write affirmations and other expressions, mediate, cycle, go to the gym, cook breakfast, stare into space, write letters, watch dvds, or just open all my windows and lay there. then off i'm off with the rest of the world to start my day. sometimes i crash around lunchtime from this mild (i suppose) case of insominia, because i do stay up late most nights.

and yes, yes this is my lazy attempt to bump my prior sexual expression post down a notch....ol'lordy...i'm off.

picture: aloe plant on porch

Thursday, June 15, 2006

..the truth is that i'm just feeling sexy

pardon me,

i am a grown woman. my hormones are out of control. is it wrong to say that i'm feeling sexy? if your answer is yes, then dry fuck you (twice). i need to find a place where women are playfully freestyle dancing. i must coquettishingly place my phalanges on a sweat-laden woman in about 30 seconds or i will pass out from the humidity.

if you have not heard from me by month's end, know that i love colored women...

signed,

the narcissist who refuses to blog in summertime weather and masquerades as a nerd. now god bless you. love. (below) one of my favorite shots taken (umm this week). me and my sweetie. her name is shug and she's is bestest. we've been through the trenches, but we are still here. she is temperamental sometimes and recently, forcibly threw me off of her and onto a busy intersection in georgia. as one nice helpful man said, "you fell...but at least you fell on your butt, so you'll probably be ok." werd up. ding ding fockers, i smell a metaphor and a woman.

Friday, June 09, 2006

she makes me wanna die

just so no one thinks i'm suicidal, not 'die' in the literal sense. death metaphorically is rebirth. being born again is one of the most magickal shimmers of life. at any minute of the day, i have the ability to start over. martina's haunting, yet sexy voice, coupled with the hypnotic beats, are exactly what i need to soar at this moment. this song feels like an extension of me. combined, both are me, the speaker and the spoken to, the performer and audience..i am it/them! is it possible to make love to the beats in my headphones? if so, i'd f@*k a hole in this song.

"She makes me wanna die and change my stride -- and then I'll fly." yup, yup. and that's the blessing right there.

lyrics by the beautiful tricky and Martina (vocals)

She makes me wanna die
Follow where mary goes
Cherish the things she knows
Says if I change my stride
Then Ill fly
She makes me wanna die
Change my stride
Then Ill fly
Look to the sun
See me in psychic pollution
Walking on the moon
How could you dare?
Who do you think you are?
Youre insignificant
A small piece, an ism
No more no less
You try to learn the universe
Cant even converse in uni-verse
You know its ironic smoking hydroponic
She makes me wanna die
And change my stride
Then Ill fly
She makes me wanna die
Follow where mary goes
Cherish the things she knows
Says if I change my stride
Then Ill fly
And change my stride
Then Ill fly
Look to the sun
See me in psychic pollution
Walking on the moon
How could you dare?
Who do you think you are?
Youre insignificant
A small piece, an ism
No more no less
You try to learn the universe
Cant even converse in uni-verse
You know