Sunday, June 29, 2008
from the absence of those I loved in the past. But when a life is lived for its meaning....the residue of the past is poetry, not death or loss." ..."The dead were not absent, they were a part of the present life."
"A Literate Passion: Letters from 1932-1952"
I am overwhelmed by the supple beauty of her words. I sat at my local tea shop a few days ago and poured myself into it, didn't even drink my rooibus just read and immediately I was transported to Paris.Not only does it transport me, but also it possesses something that inspires my own writing. It's comforting to me....allows me to accept my mother's death, slowly.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
it's no secret...
to anyone who knows me.
...i want to have sex that inspires me. sex that makes me feel more like i'm in the midst of creating art than fingering or fucking someone. shit so good that it transcends just a physical experience. it becomes spiritual. religious. magical. a space to conjure deepest desires. awaken things we never knew we loved. or capture things we've always lusted for but haven't quite tasted.
i want sex that redefines what sex could be. something that is loving, nasty, freaky, charged. hot, sexy, soft, sensual, noisy, seductive, ass-bouncing, breast-jiggling, hard. something that leaves me feeling spent afterwards like i just fought a heavyweight & gave it all i got. only this is no fight, it's going at it with someone who wants you to cum harder than you've ever come before. sex that is generous, accepting, where giving each other pleasure is paramount. where giving each other room to explore & just be where we are at & be accepted...& grow...& learn...is an integral part of the experience.
i want to try things i never have. be open to ways of love making/fucking that i've never even imagined before. whether it is something kinky or deeply intimate. i want to have sex in ways i've never had sex before but always dreamed of. with someone who is seeking the same.
but also, i'd really love to have that person be someone i could develop a really wonderful friendship with at the core of everything. but the irony is that many people don't know how to be friends. there's trust issues, past drama, insecurity, selfishness, dishonesty, foolishness, 'the ex who sits by the door' and other 'stuff' you have to sift through in order to get to a person's center. so many layers you have to peel back in order to see who that person really is and sometimes it takes years for the lens to focus correctly. i had to be honest (and continue to be honest) with myself and work on changing who i was/am so that i would/will attract that light essence that essentially resides within me. a homogeneous spirit. at this point in my life it's absolutely necessary for anyone I have sex/make love with to develop a really loving, earth-spirit-centered, mental-emotional-physical, natural, nurturing, connection . & then have the hot sex be an extension of that connection, not the sole connection in itself...i refuse anything less....i've always known in the deepest parts that this kind of sweetness would be a reality for me. it's just a matter of time. as always, i'm patient and healthy.
but ahhh...ohhhh, i'm turning myself on at the thought of sex in the context of a wholistic relationship...mmMMmm. in the meantime, i'll just keep nurturing my mind, body, and spirit while "staying healthy with every beat of my heart." ---India
o.wood (read sex and magick-making stuff-click here)
*To all my readers: Thank you for reading, always always. I recently purchased a new camera so please check back for links to photo-cycling blog :D.
Monday, June 23, 2008
"This is the female form divine...
...I am drawn by its breath as if I were no more than a helpless vapor,
all falls aside but myself and it."
This is the female form,
A divine nimbus exhales from it from head to foot.
It attracts with fierce undeniable attraction,
I am drawn by its breath as if I were no more than a helpless vapor,
all falls aside but myself and it,
Books, art, religion, time, the visible and solid earth, and what was expected
of heaven or fear'd of hell, are now consumed,
Mad filaments, ungovernable shoots play out of it, the response likewise ungovernable,
Hair, bosom, hips, bend of legs, negligent falling of hands all diffused, mine too diffused,
Ebb stung by the flow and flow stung by the ebb, love-flesh swelling and deliciously aching,
Limitless limpid jets of love hot and enormous, quivering jelly of love,
white-blow and delirious juice,
Bridegroom night of love working surely and softly into the prostrate dawn,
Undulating into the willing and yielding day,
Lost in the cleave and of the clasping and sweet-flesh'd day.
This is the nucleus - after the child is born of woman, man is born of woman.
This is the bath of birth, this the merge of small and large, and the outlet again.
Be not ashamed women, your privilege encloses the rest, and is the exit of the rest,
You are the gates of the body, and you are the gates of the soul.
Children of Adam
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
i have a plant that is growing on my window seal. it is a leaf now, but some day will make it's way down my window seal becoming longer & more complicated. but today it is a leaf. however without the aid of water, sunlight, air, & myself. this leaf will never spring into that luscious plant.
today i learned that though a dream may be yours. it will never be achieved on your own. who would martin have been if no one came to the march on washington. who would barack be without his wife or grandparents or liberal bloggers he's never met? i believe that many times we think we are alone or that we must do the work alone. but we fail to realize the greatest resource we have. the greatest aid to success we have access to is each other. for every dream i have i know of one person or could find a person who could aid me in achieving it. today-i was holding hands in a circle of people, many of whom i did not know. i discovered this about myself & it moved me. i felt the unsettled feeling i used to feel as a child when i was upset to the core & about to cry. what i spoke about in that circle was that i love people greatly & would go at great lengths to assist them. to contribute to them fulfilling their dreams. or getting what they need. but i myself don't want to ask for support. or feel ashamed when i need something.
what i realized today was that my shame. my guilt. my fear. prevents others from having the opportunity to contribute to my life. i think that's why people have kids (for the most part), to contribute to someone. to aid a little person in growing to their brightest potential. to love someone to life. for me what i am going to do is give up my fear of asking for support. my shame. & guilt. & allow people to love me the way i love them. allow them to contribute to me & my dreams. for myself i am creating the possibility of being cared for. to be that plant sitting on the window seal. being water. lit up. & nurtured by kindness & love.
"it seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it." --zora neale hurston
ow (click link)
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
I always felt awkward about thanking a separate God for food, but thanking the food itself makes more sense to me, and helps me to focus on the divinity of all things.
And just like people, food comes in so many marvelous varieties! Just like us, food creates itself over time with the nourishment it extracts from the Earth. And when we eat, we are choosing to make that food a part of ourselves to further create what we are. I know that may seem obvious, but it’s a really when you think about it.
Given all that, not only does not thanking my food feel selfish, but more so, it feels like I’m cheating myself of the joy in seeing the gifts food provides. No big ceremony needed; save the red carpet folks. Just a moment’s pause. Focused attention. Just "Thank you, food."
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Photo courtesy Copenhagen Cycle Chic. There you can find more amazing photos.
*Are there any other black women who commute by bicycle??? I'd love to chat you up sometime. I am starting a sister-blog about bike commuting in Atlanta from a black woman's perspective, with actual pictures and more. Stay tuned.
Monday, June 02, 2008
NOT AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF COUPLE* Photographer and models unknown.
"'We are not saying people should live in a tent or 15 feet away from each other,' Mr. Roach said. 'What we are teaching is that there is a direct karmic relationship between every incidence of anger you have in the day and how you see your partner.
'If you are consciously patient with people during the day, you will see more beauty.'"
Listen to this amazing story here!
My favorite couple love couple-crush, married Feb. 29, 2008. Who is this?
Persia White ("Girlfriends) and Saul Williams!! MMMmmmmMM
Sunday, June 01, 2008
"C'mon meditate, lets contemplate
talk to the heavenly bodies
of the universe (times 2)
i got to be free, my spirit's telling me (times 2)
free from all the things that I don't really need (times 2)
my mind is made up, no turning back for me (times 2)
must move with the tides....move straight ahead people.."
SImplywonderful. Give yourself a treat and press play. RIP Bo Diddley